i wrap my arms around you, tightly.
there is so much i hope for: too much.
this is so unfair to me
to depend on you for so many things
i refuse to see
let alone believe in.
holding you, breathing
your warm, sad scent,
i crush my eyes closed
against every disppointment i can imagine,
and cannot see if you,
caring or otherwise,
look into the same sad overwhelming
or peek over my shoulder
for a convenient route of escape.

march 18, 2008