Beth he thought accepting the knowledge that he did not know Beth as well as correctly be honest even if it's pedantic honesty at least it's that he thought he did still having trouble not with the that was her choice no not her choice he knew better than that but the part of him that wanted demanded no matter how fucked up the reality of it would be still and would maybe always whine for being Her Man being enough for her satisfaction meaning and jesus he never had a chance he never was going to be who she needed and even if she didn't know it at the time he still felt understandable pride not very rational considerate empathic fuck you bitch lying cunt and the rest not very pleasant shocked at himself but

"Give it some time, Ike, you just found out after all, almost twenty years you think you know the woman and last night you find out you didn't know shit, that's not your fault her hiding her whole life from you, the father of her child, not that I don't blame her but please, Ike, don't blame yourself" and

however right Gwen was and lord the woman was totally right Ike knew everything she was saying was the right thing the thing he needed to hear and he was trying to force himself to let go knew that wasn't the best way either force as if he could twist his own arm make himself holler Uncle and that would do it at least could stop sigh visualize Nice Ike and that at least would still Insanely Pissed-off Ike for a while, get over yourself it's not your fault you married a woman so deep in her closet even she didn't know, he could picture her fear of him not himself Ike who would have been weirded-out proven true undeniable but a gamer better than her fucking a friend a guy at work something cheap bad tv like that and this helped too thank you Gwen calm vision I need can't find

"If nothing else, Ike, her being stuck in the closet as long as she did gave you Marissa. The girl accepts her true self before 1999, you have no Marissa, so dig on that before wishing to change the past, babe" which of course

Ike thought smile returning always always now smile the one thing best thing Marissa could become Rod McKuen with the mush filling him sweet happy loopiness his daughter first time since the divorce truly he felt his daughter wow Marissa the magic her mom every bit as wrong about Ike as Ike Beth a great pair in the end perfect couple match made in heaven ok hell ok not that bad So stupid together just change the song a bit and there ya go, I live fifteen years picturing your anger your overwhelming wrath that stops you from ever having a man again god you hated me I was that huge in your life oh my god and I wasn't even close I could not have been more wrong and you my until honesty do us part and I guess that was yesterday afternoon so sure I would be blind red rage No carpetmunching pervert is going to raise my daughter me angry oh no poor just as dopey Beth my once and never love frightened pathetic little man using your anger to be big in my own eyes and to allow myself the distance from what I should have been doing what it took fifteen years to have the guts to do and somehow god he'd spend the rest of his dumbass life figuring this out the mystery that was at least at last opening his eyes finally scales after a lifetime and he understood not one thing except this one small fragment everything he understood every damn thing all the unknowledge all the blindness all the huge universe hiding behind his eyes sneaking away before he can turn fast enough Marissa the sum total of universal knowledge the Universe of Ike how easy was that how simple how long he had made himself wait made her wait even Beth finally not all that happy about it but to be not so pedantic honest fresh air in fact to know what he now knew was the real truth this time won't get fooled again just to unlearn correctly damn it felt good how weird was that but he could deal was happy odd knowing Beth now for real but all he did not know about Beth suddenly was new also before he did not know about the men in her life did not know why she didn't get over him didn't know why she stayed so wrapped up in her anger the divorce and all that but now he did not not know that anymore that was not there not to know holy crap this was a bit much what he now did not know was so different he wasn't sure what he didn't know he didn't know he did know Carol name gender and that was it he did know notIke re: collapse of Beth's world never did collapse well it did but good riddance collapse revealed Beth's real world and that had to be a good thing didn't it for Beth at least and Marissa and now yes even poor blind Ike ah ha Ike not your business to know her life Ike you got your own problems Ike deal with your issues she's fine on her own better off without you not your fault just the way it is Ike daddy's home to stay Ike and that you are so right Gwen was the Ike who mattered the Ike to cherish the Ike to get to know Marissa's dad Ike and puzzle about Beth all you want you are no longer she's no longer ex just mother of your child and that's quite enough, except

why did she resist that hard, I mean I may not know her but there are things about people got nothing to do with who they sleep with who they hate just their personality and I've had to deal with this woman for almost twenty years I may be clueless about her in most ways but we had to work things out over and over money time arrangements legal shit she might take her stand but I'll give her this she would find a way to a working solution not make either of us real happy but at least we got done and fast and away from each other not because I was a cause of pain to her oh my poor lost Ike the only man ever for me and well that he had to admit may well have been true wondered if she'd find the idea funny certainly the last man she'd ever love fast to the point because dealing with Ike was walking the lie now he understood but did not understand why this time she could not find that path fast to optimal maybe just a bad bad idea and never would be anything good about it never be any path to anything good but Ike didn't believe that they were Marissa's parents and they would have to find a way to be her parents together knowing what they both now knew given he was here given she was out given all that was given and much that was taken they would have to sit down and talk he would have to meet Carol he would have to they both did fifteen years of false enmity was just so frikkin' stupid no need to try for best friends but friendly wouldn't hurt had to help Marissa had to be good for her and he could tell Beth knew that was true knew Marissa wanted it Marissa needed it Beth knew it fought it so hard and only when Ike heard Goddammit Mom we're going over for dinner deal with it! yup that's their kid alright every hardass bone they possessed she inherited and Beth sighed ok 6 o'clock Sunday whee see you there, but

something was odd and Ike just had no idea but Gwen was probably right his imagination after all he had been soooooo wrong about almost everything else about Beth yes Gwen I'm right about that I am her father jesus ha ha very funny but not much else figured he'd contact Guiness to apply for Most Wrong About Everything world record and then it was just like that holy crap Sunday five til six the chicken almost done Grand Bakery bread sliced and warmed spinach salad and Ike could not resist tiramisu hoped Beth still loved it like he still did had gotten a first email from Marissa (new addy she said 2moms1dad@ . . . quite the smart ass his kid) and yay she loved tiramisu loved dessert yup that's his kid and the wine was open ready to pour Gwen had on Modern Jazz Quartet Gwen the MC for the evening ringmaster Gwen ready for anything including

"I was not joking Isaac my man you and your old lady get into it me your kid and your replacement are out of here let you two knockdown dragout your hearts' content just don't bust nothing or I bust you good later" and

Ike swore of course I promise Gwen said nothing raised her eyebrows hard stare besides he said I'm over the initial shock no big deal now she's gay I've got a lover seventeen years younger and you think her being a lesbian popped my top wait til she digs on your skin tones like she'll be able to resist whatever is buried in that embedded pile of crap I of course am too enlightened to ever notice which is when the bell rang and the next phase of Ike's life began and whatever fears he had whatever scenarios not to mention why Beth had resisted so hard and there was something else she had not told him had not told Marissa who was just as puzzled as Gwen when Ike opened the door gave his daughter a huge hug said "Gwen this is my daughter . . ." and saw standing behind Beth hiding but it was always going to be too late holy fucking shit I don't even fucking believe it Gwen Marissa moving to hug hello for the very first time but Ike standing staring past Beth never had seen Beth so wound-up nervous guilty shame afraid oh my god I'm in trouble now never and Ike realizing he could be stunned gobsmacked even even more holy crap

"Carol? Clinton? Carol Clinton? You? You are Carol? You?" and

as Gwen Marissa dawning unreality wrapping an arm gaily around everyone tra la what a fun time we shall have my loves he knows Carol and you bet your sweet ass he knows Carol who introduced him to Beth almost twenty years ago had been assistant librarian and had left town just about the time he and Beth got divorced and now there was just too much reality but Gwen wasn't sure whether to serve wine or grab Marissa and run and the bad tv moment just went on and on and on.